If Meteorologists & Climatologists Ran For President

November 8, 2016

It's a fairly stressful election day. Sit back, relax, and imagine a world where meteorologists are running for President. (reminder... this is satire)

 

 

Nominee: Jim Cantore

Slogan: “Yes We Cantore”

Scandal: Intense coverage and affair with Hurricane Sandy

Platform: Encourage U.S. population to go outside because “It’s Amazing Out There”. Heavily increase funding for thundersnow research. Make blue Weather Channel jackets the mandatory, national school uniform.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nominee: Michael Mann

Slogan: “Climate Change We Can Believe In”

Scandal: E-mail controversy that leads nowhere (sound familiar?)

Platform: Lower CO­2 emissions. Increase use of renewable energy. Lower CO­2 emissions. Increase funding for climate research. Lower CO­2 emissions – no really, that’s all he really wants.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nominee: Marshall Shepherd

Slogan: “Feel The Shep”

Scandal: Proposed ban on the Polar Vortex

Platform: Make attending AMS Annual Meeting mandatory for all U.S. citizens. Introduce a U.S. “Geek of the Week” that visits the White House. Establish a roundtable of meteorologists that give him quotable advice every morning (he’ll then share these quotes with the country at Forbes.com).

 

 

 

 

Nominee: Ginger Zee

Slogan: “It’s a Good Morning Again in America”

Scandal: Leaked sound-bites from Dancing with the Stars

Platform: Introduce mandatory green screen training in schools nationwide.  Make “Good Morning America” part of the Pledge of Allegiance. Improve relations with foreign weather offices.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nominee: James Spann

Slogan: “Make Warning Polygons Great Again”

Scandal: Wedgegate

Platform: Remove every tornado siren in the country. Create real change by introducing the NWS & private sector to each other, consequently making them “bffs”. Make high-risk severe weather days a national holiday

 

 

 

 

Who would have your vote?

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