It's a fairly stressful election day. Sit back, relax, and imagine a world where meteorologists are running for President. (reminder... this is satire)
Nominee: Jim Cantore
Slogan: “Yes We Cantore”
Scandal: Intense coverage and affair with Hurricane Sandy
Platform: Encourage U.S. population to go outside because “It’s Amazing Out There”. Heavily increase funding for thundersnow research. Make blue Weather Channel jackets the mandatory, national school uniform.
Nominee: Michael Mann
Slogan: “Climate Change We Can Believe In”
Scandal: E-mail controversy that leads nowhere (sound familiar?)
Platform: Lower CO2 emissions. Increase use of renewable energy. Lower CO2 emissions. Increase funding for climate research. Lower CO2 emissions – no really, that’s all he really wants.
Nominee: Marshall Shepherd
Slogan: “Feel The Shep”
Scandal: Proposed ban on the Polar Vortex
Platform: Make attending AMS Annual Meeting mandatory for all U.S. citizens. Introduce a U.S. “Geek of the Week” that visits the White House. Establish a roundtable of meteorologists that give him quotable advice every morning (he’ll then share these quotes with the country at Forbes.com).
Nominee: Ginger Zee
Slogan: “It’s a Good Morning Again in America”
Scandal: Leaked sound-bites from Dancing with the Stars
Platform: Introduce mandatory green screen training in schools nationwide. Make “Good Morning America” part of the Pledge of Allegiance. Improve relations with foreign weather offices.
Nominee: James Spann
Slogan: “Make Warning Polygons Great Again”
Platform: Remove every tornado siren in the country. Create real change by introducing the NWS & private sector to each other, consequently making them “bffs”. Make high-risk severe weather days a national holiday
Who would have your vote?